"To Queue or Not to Queue"

In America, we stand in lines. We form lines at registers, to buy tickets, to recieve services, to return services. Pretty much any time we Americans want to do something somebody else is doing, there is a line involved. In british-type nations, this is called "queueing". We agree on the shared meaning of these two concepts, "lines" and "queues", much in the same way we agree on potatoe/potatoe and tomatoe/tomatoe (trust me there's a difference). I have not yet learned the Estonian word for "line" or "queue". I know that "to wait" is ootama, but I do not think there is a universal consenses on how this is done.

Upon traveling half way around the world, I expected to encounter some culture shock; however, the people are very nice, the food is good, hailing a cab is easy, and the weather is manageable. However, I never thought "waiting" for services could be so foreign.

In Estonia, it is customary to engage in what I call, "the wrap". In this procedure, one clumps to the side of wherever you are trying to wait. I have not yet discovered if it is correct to "wrap" to the right or left of the desired destination. I tend to pick the most dense side and hope for strength in numbers. You then play as though you're at the stock exchange and try to get your bid in before the person on the opposing side. Or at least it feels this way. There are a few establishments where "lines" do exist. You will always find a line at the grocery store. The design of the check-out system most easily facilitates the "line" or "queue" formation. Another place it is usually customary to find a line is McDonalds.

Yes, they have McDonalds here. There are, in fact, four in Tallinn, and a slew of others elsewhere in the country. The one I visit is the most popular. It sits right on the edge of Old Town, or Vanalinn, a extremely beautiful part of the city. It is so popular, in fact, that signs point you in the correct direction from as far away as 400m, then 200m, and 50m, so that you can be in full salvitory mode by the time you get there.Westernization has a strong, greasy foothold even here in the Baltics. Now I know you're thinking, "Doesn't going to McDonalds contradict the "experience local culture" and ya-da-ya-da axiom?" Well...yes, but I was going to order the McRoyal which I'd never seen or heard of, so it was still going to be a "foreign experience". I also saw Harry Potter last week.

With symbols of Western culture like these, you would think that Estonians would be familiar with such concepts as "the line" or "the queue". I even remember hearing and reading about soviet inforced bread lines and things like that. Apparently the Estonians missed this day of my seventh grade world history class. This is why I attribute my biggest dose of culture shock to my last visit to McDonalds.

Upon entering, I noticed three well formed lines leading up to the register. the end of the shortest behind a single man, a young couple, and an older woman (who was directly in front of me). After recieving his order, the young man departed, and everyone shifted forward one space as normal. At this point, the old woman faltered and broke "line formation". She threw out the entire rule book and began to "wrI decided to stand atap". Perhaps it was because she is older and has not been as "westernized" as Estonian youths. Perhaps she was being patriotic. I couldn't tell.

Next, however, I did the unthinkable; I panicked. I lost my cool inside McDonalds, the safe-haven of westerners. I do not know if it was because I was being stubborn, or just confused and bewildered, but I held position in "the line". The young couple, old woman, and I had created the never before used "triangle" formation. This is a globally unrecognized waiting pattern as far as I know. Well, after this travesty, things only got worse.

In walked a new group of customers. They had two well-intact "lines" to choose from, and a precariously formed "traingle". Of course they could not choose the "lines". Maybe they were thrill seekers or even anarchists. As they approached, I decided to fold in and join the old woman's "wrap" (remember strength in numbers). The newcomers must have been Estonian, because this did not bother them, and they proceeded to "wrap" themselves near the register. Eventually I recieved my food, and ate my McRoyal in peace, thus ending my dramatic excursion to McDonalds.

I suppose the moral of the story is "be flexible". Or maybe it could be, "when in Rome...". In this case, however, perhaps the moral is, "whether you wrap, queue, or line, it's always McDonald's time".

*Pics: http://www.williamsandclarkexpedition.com/food%20vendor%20line.jpg, http://www.warriorlibrarian.com/HUMOUR/TOUR/lineup.jpg