The Evils of Public Transportation

Hey there! I've been traveling and exploring so much that I've taken a departure from my original intention for writing this blog...to discuss my thoughts and observations about life here in Estonia. So in deference to myself, I will attempt to write in "pre-eurocultured" Andrew style. If you've become entranced by my travel photos, click back to the orgins of my online universe, my cyber-genisis...i was even funny sometimes :D

So lets talk about public transportation, buses in particular. It is a rule in Estonia that it takes aproximately 2.5 hrs to get anywhere by bus. In the case of traveling from Tallinn (NW corner) to Varska (SE corner), it actually takes about 5hrs. This of course, is 2T, T being time, also equal to 2.5, our basis of comparison. So really, it all comes back to the same thing. Oddly enough, the Estonians aren't lying. It really does take about 2.5 hrs (or T) to get anywhere in this country by bus...well anywhere worth going, unless it's to visit your Estonian grandmother, which I don't have so I digress.

At one point I decided that this was a conspiracy of the buss drivers. Because I had traveled this great country by car (see my road trip back in April) a few times (I have friends with cars too!), I knew how long it had taken to get to certain cities. Then again, my driver had a lead foot, and busses can only travel so fast. Really, it's like trying to fathom obese-people-sex...the science just makes your head hurt.

So resigning myself to 2.5hr long trips, I aquiesed to riding the bus to and from my appointed destinations. I figured I was helping the environment, and being savvy with my money at the same time...hooray! It's kind of an inverse relationship. The less money you spend, the more time it takes to get where you want to go. That's why walking is free. And crawling to places like churches and mosques gets you blessed. It takes 12 hours to get to Moscow by train, and I really don't remember paying much of anything for that, but 12 is not an easy multiple of T, so we'll just forget about it. Hitch-Hiking is also free, and you get to travel by car, but you also run the risk of being killed by the crazzies. Therefore, hitch-hiking doesn't count. These are the fundamental truths by which our existence is organized.

But this is not entirely so! A ferry trip to Helsinki, a mere 60 kilometers costs much more than it would to drive the same distance by bus. And trust me, sitting on a ferry for 3 hours or more is just about as exciting as sitting on a buss for 2.5hrs, there are just more drunk Finns. Therefore, I do not take ferries, they cheat. I came to the conclusion that when crossing bodies of water, it was most cost effective to purchase a plane ticket way in advance, thus finding good prices and reducing travel time substantially.

Now, if you havn't looked at the past few blogs, I've been traveling a lot! This is not always over bodie of water either. I cheat too, but it's okay. So I've gotten used to air travel. It's about 2.5 hours to Prague, and about the same to Berlin. When you fly to Stockholm, you arrive before you left because of the time change! If you fly to Helsinki, you barely have time to get into the air before you're decending again. After this pampering, it has become very difficult to sit on the bus for T time. When you know that in T, or 1/2T you could be in a different country, it makes the journey down the same-old highway and barns seem rather banal and quite longer than it used to.

This malcontentedness has made me really miss my car back in the US. I try to tell myself that by not driving I am saving the ozone. By riding the buss I am slowing the onset of global warming. By not continuing to purchase gas at high prices, I am decreasing the demand for the fossil fuel, thus eventually driving prices lower (There won't be peace in the mid-east for awhile folks, start thinking about going hybrid or something!). But what I really want is to put my foot on an accelorator and get to my destination already! Many would say this is because I'm young and impacient. I would say it's because I'm American...and young and impacient.

I do not know if there is a solution to this dilemma. So far, all I have come up with is a general refusal to travel by bus again. I think this is best.

Photo: http://www.anotherurl.com/travel/east_europe/images/bh_bus.jpg